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	<title>The Secret Diary of Linus Torvalds</title>
	<atom:link href="http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com</link>
	<description>Dude, I invented Linux. Have you heard of it?</description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:53:37 +0000</pubDate>
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	<language>en</language>
			<item>
		<title>Empire runs out of ideas and copies Federation, installs pink screen of death on iPhone</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/empire-runs-out-of-ideas-and-copies-federation-installs-pink-screen-of-death-on-iphone/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/empire-runs-out-of-ideas-and-copies-federation-installs-pink-screen-of-death-on-iphone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:53:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/?p=47</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. And the Apple forum doesn&#8217;t try to help, like any good OSS forum would do. They delete the forum post instead. Wonderful people.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/empire-runs-out-of-ideas-and-copies-federation-installs-pink-screen-of-death-on-iphone/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Federation gets their standard approved. Crap.</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/04/02/federation-gets-their-standard-approved-crap/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/04/02/federation-gets-their-standard-approved-crap/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Apr 2008 19:35:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Federation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/?p=45</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. But I thought good always trumped evil.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/04/02/federation-gets-their-standard-approved-crap/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Emperor Steve Jobs and his &#8220;wonderful&#8221; customer service</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/emperor-steve-jobs-and-his-wonderful-customer-service/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/emperor-steve-jobs-and-his-wonderful-customer-service/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 21:13:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/emperor-steve-jobs-and-his-wonderful-customer-service/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. The wonderful emperor told a customer whose MacBook got water damage (and was covered by Apple Care):
This is what happens when your MacBook Pro sustains water damage.They are pro machines and they don’t like water. It sounds like you’re just looking for someone to get mad at other than yourself.
    [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/emperor-steve-jobs-and-his-wonderful-customer-service/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ubuntu Linux trounces Federation and Empire in hacking competition. And I mean TROUNCED.</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/ubuntu-linux-trounces-federation-and-empire-in-hacking-competition-and-i-mean-trounced/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/ubuntu-linux-trounces-federation-and-empire-in-hacking-competition-and-i-mean-trounced/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:46:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Federation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/?p=43</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. OS X got pwned so quickly the Empire didn&#8217;t know what hit them. Poor Bill Gates also got trounced when his precious Vista got hammered. And the Ubuntu laptop? Not a scratch.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/ubuntu-linux-trounces-federation-and-empire-in-hacking-competition-and-i-mean-trounced/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Poor Federation&#8230;. Microsoft&#8217;s brand is declining</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/28/poor-federation-microsofts-brand-is-declining/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/28/poor-federation-microsofts-brand-is-declining/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:25:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Federation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/28/poor-federation-microsofts-brand-is-declining/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. And the Empire ain&#8217;t even on the list :-). I really oughta start a company.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/28/poor-federation-microsofts-brand-is-declining/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ars Freaknicas think that Safari is a real competitor on Windows. Huh?</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/25/ars-freaknicas-think-that-safari-is-a-real-competitor-on-windows-huh/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/25/ars-freaknicas-think-that-safari-is-a-real-competitor-on-windows-huh/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:11:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/?p=41</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here.  Standards? Well whoopdy doo, but they didn&#8217;t see Firefox 3.0. Speed? Yeah right. If I want speed, I open up Lynx. And let&#8217;s not forget it&#8217;s also malware.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/25/ars-freaknicas-think-that-safari-is-a-real-competitor-on-windows-huh/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>CEO of Mozilla lambasts the Empire</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/22/ceo-of-mozilla-lambasts-the-federation/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/22/ceo-of-mozilla-lambasts-the-federation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:58:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/22/ceo-of-mozilla-lambasts-the-federation/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. John calls Safari malware. Go John!
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/22/ceo-of-mozilla-lambasts-the-federation/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>HP finally wakes up and decides to start selling Linux PCs</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/hp-finally-wakes-up-and-decides-to-start-selling-linux-pcs/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/hp-finally-wakes-up-and-decides-to-start-selling-linux-pcs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:01:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/hp-finally-wakes-up-and-decides-to-start-selling-linux-pcs/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. Took &#8216;em long enough, but they&#8217;re finally selling SuSE Enterprise. Not open source, but dang close.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/hp-finally-wakes-up-and-decides-to-start-selling-linux-pcs/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Vista is crap. So why use it to clean it?</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/vista-is-crap-so-why-use-it-to-clean-it/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/vista-is-crap-so-why-use-it-to-clean-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:50:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Federation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/vista-is-crap-so-why-use-it-to-clean-it/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. Vista toilet paper.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/vista-is-crap-so-why-use-it-to-clean-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
		<media:content url="http://a.wordpress.com/avatar/fakelinustorvalds-128.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Mono people think that the iPhone SDK is a joke. Duh, I already figured that out.</title>
		<link>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/mono-people-think-that-the-iphone-sdk-is-a-joke-duh-i-already-figured-that-out/</link>
		<comments>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/mono-people-think-that-the-iphone-sdk-is-a-joke-duh-i-already-figured-that-out/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:41:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Fake Linus Torvalds</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Empire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/mono-people-think-that-the-iphone-sdk-is-a-joke-duh-i-already-figured-that-out/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[See here. The Mono people are a little slow sometimes (duh, they&#8217;re trying to run .Net on Linux), but this time they figured it out WITHOUT my help. Kudos to them.
       ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://fakelinustorvalds.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/mono-people-think-that-the-iphone-sdk-is-a-joke-duh-i-already-figured-that-out/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Fake Linus Torvalds</media:title>
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