Empire runs out of ideas and copies Federation, installs pink screen of death on iPhone

See here. And the Apple forum doesn’t try to help, like any good OSS forum would do. They delete the forum post instead. Wonderful people.

Emperor Steve Jobs and his “wonderful” customer service

See here. The wonderful emperor told a customer whose MacBook got water damage (and was covered by Apple Care):

This is what happens when your MacBook Pro sustains water damage.They are pro machines and they don’t like water. It sounds like you’re just looking for someone to get mad at other than yourself.

Ubuntu Linux trounces Federation and Empire in hacking competition. And I mean TROUNCED.

See here. OS X got pwned so quickly the Empire didn’t know what hit them. Poor Bill Gates also got trounced when his precious Vista got hammered. And the Ubuntu laptop? Not a scratch.

Poor Federation…. Microsoft’s brand is declining

See here. And the Empire ain’t even on the list :-). I really oughta start a company.

Ars Freaknicas think that Safari is a real competitor on Windows. Huh?

See here. Standards? Well whoopdy doo, but they didn’t see Firefox 3.0. Speed? Yeah right. If I want speed, I open up Lynx. And let’s not forget it’s also malware.

CEO of Mozilla lambasts the Empire

See here. John calls Safari malware. Go John!

Mono people think that the iPhone SDK is a joke. Duh, I already figured that out.

See here. The Mono people are a little slow sometimes (duh, they’re trying to run .Net on Linux), but this time they figured it out WITHOUT my help. Kudos to them.

My rant about the GodPhone

So my counterpart mentioned that he’s just killed everyone with his “cool” new GodPhone SDK. I’m here to prove him wrong.

#1: It’s the distribution, stupid

Hey Steve. Some of us hate iTunes. Like we think it’s the second worst thing in the galaxy (the worst is the MacBook Air, a terrorist weapon). Maybe some of us would prefer using another program. Just maybe? And then there’s the fact that we can only distribute our apps through iTunes. Isn’t that like censorship? It’s like saying you can only create stuff on Linux using CNR. DUDE! I mean, they know it’s going to be such a failure that they’re going to PAY developers to build stuff.

UPDATE: I should clarify this.  You can only DISTRIUBTE your stuff through iTunes. You can download through something built into the iPhone. Some read my article as saying otherwise.

#2: Do you really think you can beat Blackberry???

OK, I hate RIM. But they say the enemy of your enemy is your best friend (though sometimes that doesn’t always apply. Case in point: Microsoft). Dude, Blackberry has such a big market share that there’s no chance that the iPhone will make it into the enterprise. Besides, the iPhone’s only asset is the “cool” factor (which isn’t really so cool anyway). And not only that, they want to throw a CAMERA on it! Security, anyone?

Speaking of security, that’s another thing. Maybe a company doesn’t WANT iTunes on their corporate machines. You know, security and all that?

Oh, and typical Apple wants to include censorship. At any time, the company that owns the iPhone can delete all the emails on it.

#3: You’re trying to put games on an enterprise device?

At first, I thought it was an enterprise device. And that’s great for Apple. But I somehow don’t think that the first thing a company wants their employees doing is playing Spore. Just a hunch. Maybe. Possibly. But I’ve got good hunches.

Oh, and who’d want to play games on something that small?

#4: Android’s coming…

…and it can do all the enterprise stuff, use apps WITHOUT iTunes, and is based on Linux. Oh, and you can play Quake on it.

Apple Co-Founder sees even more light, praises the OLPC

See here. Between this and him attacking Apple’s products, anything can happen. Will we see Woz using Linux next???

Apple Co-Founder sees the light, attacks iPhone, MacBook Air and Apple TV

See here. So Woz finally found the light. Here’s some nice quotes:

“To tell you the truth I was really disappointed when the iPhone was introduced … half the phones in the AT&T store at the time were 3G phones,” Mr Wozniak said during a press conference following his keynote speech at the Broadband and Beyond Conference this morning.

Wozniak agreed with those criticisms [of the Air], saying: “I don’t think it’s going to be a hit.” He said he liked to burn a lot of DVDs for friends and watched movies on planes, and so needed the ability to swap batteries mid-flight.

Wozniak said he believed Apple TV - with its on-demand access to movies and TV shows without the need for a computer - was “a really good indicator of where the future is”.

But he criticised the 24-hour time limit given to users who rent shows via the device and said the quality of YouTube videos played on it was poor.